Lindsay Lohan is the Epitome of Sobriety

31 03 2011

"Taking movie meetings" in NYC

Lindsay Lohan was photographed becoming one with the ground while stumbling out of a NYC club last night at 2:30 a.m. after a night of bar hopping.  She flew into NYC from LA yesterday by private jet to reportedly “take movie meetings,” but went on a long night of bar hopping, hitting the Rose Bar in the Gramercy Park Hotel, The Cabin Down Below in the East Village and the Motor City Bar.   As you may recall, Lindsay is on strict probation which prohibits alcohol consumption, but she claims that she only drinks water when she goes out to bars (which is almost every night.)   Right…. I can’t even set foot in a nightclub without pregaming a little.  Can you even imagine how excruciatingly annoying it would be to sit in a club environment not under the influence of something?!  Today she posted the following on her facebook page regarding the incident: “”Is it not allowed to slip and fall? I’m always a klutz!!!”  Uhhh Linds, last time I checked, “klutz” and “drunk” were not synonyms….

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Paris Hilton Needs Some Attention….

30 03 2011

"Maybe if I hunch my shoulders really far back I won't look so gargantuan..."

In a recent interview, the “famous for being famous” heiress told the Associated Press “There’s so many people out there who try to imitate what I do but I am the original.  There is nothing like me.” in an obvious jab at her now more relevant frenemy, Kim Kardashian.  She also says that she has accomplished all of her professional goals, saying “I have done everything that I wanted to do and I feel very blessed that I have been very successful on every area.”  Really?  Really?? *does best Amy Poehler/Seth Meyers*  A “leaked” sex tape, a failed singing career, a string of useless and irrelevant reality tv shows, minor roles in d- movies and a perfume line…?  *Sigh*  If only we mere mortals could accomplish so much in a lifetime….





Keepin’ It Classy at USC

29 03 2011

She looks really bored.

Hundreds of people gathered in the USC quad for a “philanthropy event” were given a show when two USC students were spotted and caught on camera having sex on top of a nearby roof.  The refined gentleman in the picture above is a member of Kappa Sigma, but has since been suspended from the fraternity.  USC is also considering taking disciplinary action.





Lindsay Lohan will NOT be charged in Betty Ford case

29 03 2011

TMZ has reported:

“The Riverside County District Attorney has decided not to file criminal charges against Lindsay Lohan in connection with the altercation last December between Lindsay and a Betty Ford staffer.”

Is anyone at all surprised by this outcome?  Of course, there is also still the pesky matter of the $2,500 necklace that she stole borrowed from an LA jewelry store, but even if she’s found guilty in that case, she’ll probably only be in jail long enough to have her mugshot taken before she’s released due to overcrowding.  All while, in the U.S., there are nearly one million people incarcerated for the victimless crime of marijuana possession.  Sick, Sad World indeed….





So, this guy is going to be a Dad again….

29 03 2011

And no, despite his confusing, ever-growing waistline suggesting the contrary, he is not carrying the child.  Federline is expecting his FIFTH child with girlfriend Victoria Prince, who is 5 months pregnant.  He already has two children with Shar Jackson and two children with Britney Spears.  I guess the guy had to contribute something to the world other than PoPoZao, but you know Britney’s gonna end up paying for this some way or another.

Image via musiceffect.com





Top NYC Hotels Refuse Charlie Sheen Stay for NY Stop On Upcoming Tour

29 03 2011

It appears as though Charlie Sheen and his harem of “goddesses” will have a hard time finding a place to stay for the upcoming NYC stop on his “Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour April 8.  According the the New York Post, sources say that the Plaza, the hotel he stayed at in October last year during the notorious incident in which porn star Capri Anderson locked herself in the bathroom of his trashed hotel room and called police, will not be welcoming him back.  No, really? The Waldorf-Astoria and the Trump SoHo have also reportedly turned Sheen down.  I swear, these trolls will stop at nothing in their fruitless, feeble attempts to bring everyone’s favorite crackhead warlock down.  Hatin’ ass haters.

"The Warlock's Carry-On" courtesy of Charlie Sheen's twitter

 





So, The Big Lebowksi 2 Actually Happened…..Kadoosh!

29 03 2011

So, you probably remember when, a while back, Tara Reid spoke to the press about her upcoming projects and she suggested that a sequel to the cult classic “The Big Lebowski” was in the works for 2011.  To which the Ethan Coen hilariously responded “I’m glad she’s working on it”, effectively ending the rumors.  End of story?  Not quite.  Check out the trailer for “The Big Lebowski 2” over at funnyordie.com starring Tara Reid!  http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/5g6e